I long to... Had I really...?

I long to run, without the fear of ever falling down.
I long to swim, without the fear of ever drowning.
I long to love, without the fear of ever getting hurt.

So what if I would fall and stand up on my own?
It is the fear that holds my legs from breaking into a sprint.
So what if I would drown and live another life?
It is the fear that holds me away from the waters.
So what if the wound would heal over time?
It is the fear that holds my love from ever being said.

So what if fairy tales are real?
So what if I were given three wishes?
So what if wishes can come true?
I was never brought up to wish selfishly for the heart's dearest longings.

I shall never run without fear of falling down.
I shall never swim without fear of drowning.
I shall never love without fear of getting hurt.

Then I had learned to run and to stop when I thought I were to fall.
Then I had learned to swim and to stay close to edges I could grab when I were to drown.
Then I had learned to love and to not long for its return lest I get hurt.

I run, but had I really ran?
I swim, but had I really swam?
I love, but had I really loved?

---

很難得的一次，我會用英語寫出心情。
也不是沒有嘗試用中文寫，只是此刻覺得英語版比中文版漂亮很多。
跑步總是讓我變得感性，總是讓我想起不快樂的事。
或許我不適合跑步，但是我卻深愛著跑步。
矛盾：延續。